At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A bitchslap is in order.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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