bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
