Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
