Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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