You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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