legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
