its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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