There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
