How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
