I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
