Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
wanna go halves on a baby?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
