i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
