neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
