its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
