STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
