Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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