so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
