My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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