i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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