About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
