What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
