I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
