she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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