East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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