I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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