My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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