he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's shark week go big or go home
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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