he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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