in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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