Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
