just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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