Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
