is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I came so hard my ears popped.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
