Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize