you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
