NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize