Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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