THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize