is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
