You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
