gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
