my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You were trust falling into bushes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
