People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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