You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
