from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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