if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
