So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
