I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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