haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
