around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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