Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
