I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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