fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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