I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
