At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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