Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
