We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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