haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
