Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
