I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
wow bdsm is so cute
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