idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
