I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
