found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
