I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it's like iHOP with fire
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
