hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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