...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
